So! This narration kind of went on a two year bender. My integrity as a contributing citizen of the internet is fair to judge. But this project is like ancient now, so it's probably time to resume if I don't want to take another two years to finish. Where were we.
Right, the end of disk 1! This is about the point the game's story goes off the rails, which is as good a reason as any to go a two year bender. Yes! This story has had rails! They are gone now, tumbling down to earth. ...Up to earth. Whatever this planet that is not Earth is. Xenogears is apparently under the impression that it has been WAY too easy to follow thus far, so it has helpfully decided to play this bit out of chronological order.
The Exectutioner takes off her robe to reveal herself as...
Miang! ...well, who else was going to be, the bunny girl?
Pronouns stopped being funny about thirty game hours ago, but if Xenogears doesn't care neither does this narration. XENOGEARS IS NOW BORED WITH MAKING SENSE. MAKING SENSE IS HARD. WHY MAKE SENSE WHEN YOU CAN BE XENOGEARS.
WHAT ARE THEY EVEN TALKING ABOUT? KRELIAN AND MIANG SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO TALK TO EACH OTHER. Can you tell it has been a while since I have tried to parse this script? Yes.
Well, as you can probably surmise, something terrible has gone down, but Xenogears doesn't really feel like going into it. We now go live to Maria's giant robot's massive hand for an update on this extremely awkward situation.
FLASHBACK TIME! Yes, it is time to flash way back to the end of part 36, which was one part ago. But also two years ago! The PSN has released Xenogears, that is how long this narration has been fucking off! Did they fix that bug with that boss battle on disk two that crashes the game in emulation? I bet they didn't. ...Anyway, FLASHBACK TIME
END OF FLASHBACK TIME
So Weltall has turned red and Id has hopped in it and is now destroying Solaris by way of flying in circles around it. Bart and the others manage to get from Maria's giant robot's hand into the Yggdrasil, somehow, and Citan announces that Solaris's destruction and fall from the upper atmosphere is potentially the equivalent of an atom bomb.
It certainly is a shame that no one took this into consideration sooner, seeing as the objective here pretty much was to destroy Solaris.
The Yggdrasil's engines are not powered by verbal abuse, but they manage to clear the explosion anyway. Phew! Our heroes have totally escaped all of the danger!
Oh, that's a good point, actually. Fei doesn't really count as one of our heroes at the moment.
For some reason, the only time in the entire game in which it would be totally appropriate for Bart to shoot at Fei, he freezes up.
Id's giant robot punches Elly's giant robot right in the giant robot junk! And immediately encounters a problem.
Screencaps really can't convey how hilariously unintentionally dirty this scene looks with Id trying to yank his giant robot's hand out of Elly's giant robot and failing. He is just totally giving her a giant robot handjob against his will. This just got weird, you guys.
Elly punches Id in the balls! Well, her giant robot punches his giant robot in the balls.
Yes, see, mutual junk-punching is the sort of thing that should make your giant robot short circuit. They, uhh, do that for a while, but Id wins, and Elly's giant robot falls down.
Your alternate self waking up should not make your giant robot short circuit, though. This narration is standing by that. And on that ridiculous note, you can all stop sending me angry emails. For now.