(part two)

Fei and Citan set out on their quest to probably die in the desert, leaving their broken giant robot behind. Before they manage to get out of the forest, a giant battle ship flies past overhead!

What the hell is that?

Oh, one of Aveh's warships, probably.

Aveh is... a kingdom, right? With a castle? And a charming marketplace?

And hide and seek minigames with street urchins, yes, but it has been occupied by an army called Gebler for a while now, and they have giant flying warships.

Maybe we shouldn't go to Aveh.

Oh, look, there is the vast stretch of unforgiving inhospitable desert now!

Indeed, the lush dinosaur-filled forest ends and then there is only miles and miles of sand! Aveh has very particular weather patterns. Fei and Citan go marching out into it without so much as a water bottle between them, but they have magic access to the overhead map and soon find their way to Dazil, a wretched hive of scum and villainy.

Actually, it looks pretty nice.

This is where Aveh digs up all its giant robots! Let us find the local Church Mechanics Guild and see if we can buy some engine parts.

The local Church Mechanics Guild is no help, alas, as they only stock parts for civilian dug-up robots, where as Fei and Citan need parts for a military dug-up robot. They do not elaborate on how exactly that distinction is made when all the robots are pretty much just dug up, but they do recommend that Citan place an order with the Vatican.

How about we just forget about fixing the giant robot? I don't even like it that much, and we'd have to walk all the way back to the forest again anyway.

That is not a good idea. Aveh and Kislev will still be fighting over it, and we left it right near Lahan!

I blew up Lahan! Lahan is not a factor anymore!

Citan is not listening. He's had a brilliant idea!

I am going to rent a sand-buggy and go out into the desert myself!

...so you are also an archeologist.

No, no, I am going to search battle sites for wrecked Kislev robots and see if I can salvage the parts we need from them!

Oh. That sounds pretty harmless.

Citan rents a sandbuggy and tells Fei to go hit the bars or something. The guy at the sand-buggy shop tells Fei there are pirates in the desert in a sand cruiser also after wrecked robots! They are totally dangerous! People should not head out into the desert by themselves for any reason!

And you didn't mention that before he left because...?

Because he's a businessman, Fei!

Oh, whatever, I'm sure he'll be fine. There's probably tons of stuff here to do to kill time.


Fei never gets much smarter than this.

He spots some robots hopping around and tries to follow them, but he is soon completely lost. He also has no idea which way Citan actually went.

Maybe I should have hit the bars after all.

A UFO passes overhead peacefully.

...Maybe I hit the bars and I just don't remember.

Some more robots hop past, and Fei tries to follow them, but he loses them pretty quickly, too. He is totally lost! And it's getting dark! He's really hungry! This desert is a lot bigger than it said in the travel brochure! Some guys on motorcycles show up out of nowhere, and one of them almost hits Fei. He swerves straight into a sand dune instead.

Whoa, sorry about that!

Fei steals the motorcycle.


Fei amuses himself hopping sand dunes for a while, but this does not make him any less lost, and soon it is nighttime. But then some of those robots he saw earlier catch up to him, and they are now totally pissed, because Fei is joyriding on a stolen motorcycle. Fei thinks these priorities are questionable, but really, what did he think was going to happen.

Ugh, I don't want it anymore anyway, it's all full of sand for some reason!

Suddenly both robots are knocked down in a hail of bullets. It's Citan in Weltall!

He is totally starting an international incident over a motorcycle.

Fei, you need to get in! Only someone with no training whatsoever can use this robot to its full potential.

...sure, okay.

Fei gets into the giant robot, and the other two giant robots get back up, and they have themselves a knife fight!

Ha ha, no, they have themselves a gear fight, which is far more eye-glaze-inducing. Fei's giant robot fights pretty much exactly the way Fei does, and combined with the lack of protection to the pilot one wonders why Aveh and Kislev even bother digging these things up.


Something about a gas chamber?

Fei defeats the robots! His relief is short-lived, however. One of the giant robots from the attack on Lahan is here, and its pilot is standing out in the open wearing a creepy jester suit skull mask thing. Suddenly... Fei's face vanishes!!

No, wait, he's having another flashback. Well, that was a questionable art direction decision.

There we go.

I am Grahf, the seeker of power! You tore up that village back there real good, Fei!

Okay, I was undecided there for a while, but this is now officially the weirdest day I have ever had.

Oh, you only wish. Well, it seems your basic nature remains unchanged! Kill a couple of your loved ones and you totally flip the fuck out!

I think that is a pretty normal reaction to someone killing a couple of my loved ones, actually!

I need your power!

What for?

You know very well what for! We're going to go kill God, boy!

...That's stupid. You're stupid.

Ha ha! That is the same thing your father said!

My father? You mean my dad?


My parent?

My sire?

My patriach?

My mother's husband?

The source of half of my genes?



I have totally forgotten what I was going to say.

Oh, right, killing God. Well, destroying a village is a good start, but you probably aren't up to deities yet. Here, why don't you practice on this giant ribbed buttplug worm.

HA HA HA! What will you do, Fei? What will you dooooooooooooo

Grahf flies away. Fei kills the worm, because what else is he gonna do, really. But he breaks the giant robot again! Fei's giant robot is a total dud. Fei and Citan are soon surrounded by giant robots from Aveh's miliatry. What should we do, Citan?

We should remain calm.

Fuck! They are taken prisoner.

They get put into a cell in a sand ship, and Fei decides this would be a good time to take a nap and have more inexplicale dreams. He is standing on a hillside in the rain and watching Grahf and some other guy bicker over a red-haired dude in kabuki make-up.

Grahf is also maybe coming on to the other guy? This is weird, so Fei wakes up.

Did you sleep well?

Are we still in an Aveh sand ship?


Then no.

What could possibly be bothering you, Fei?

Aside from everything ever? Um, well, that Grahf guy was talking about my dad. That's sort of upsetting.

Do you remember anything about your father?

You mean my dad? Well, every morning the maids back in Lahan would tell me all about how I was carried there three years ago by a stranger, and while I was recovering I would call out for my father! Not that I suspect these two things are at all connected.

Oh, no, I would not, either.

Citan sends Fei back to bed. And then he has a flashback! Citan has to be the best and most mysterious about everything, so his is even weirder than Elly's or Fei's.

He is talking to some dude in a terrifying helmet about the -TIME- of the -GOSPEL-! Well, that doesn't sound like it could possibly be a bad thing. Citan and the guy agreed that it is approaching, whatever it is. Maybe they are planning a party.

Meanwhile, Chekhov's gun is fired and the Aveh sand ship is spotted by pirates!

That Aveh transport has a new Kislev robot on its roof! We are so taking that.

I think you already have a giant robot, young master.

I think you need to shut up! BATTLE STATIONS!