XENOGEARS: A ROPE OF ROBOTS
(part thirty-nine)

You guys, I think I've written 'disc' as 'disk' like six times this week. Ha ha, problems.

So, in conclusion: Fei is indeed crazy-pants, with an actual diagnosis from a fake doctor and everything. Well, if anyone left alive on this planet is going to have good psychiatric and therapy programs, it'll probably be Shevat.

Yes! We call it carbon freezing.

Speaking of problems! Shevat is not interested in keeping Fei around. They want to give him the full Galactic Alliance trophy-creation treatment, not bothering to make up a different name for it or anything. That's probably smart of them, actually, but the party has developed emotional attachments to their psycho and objects to the forceful removal of the game's main character. Various NPCs declare that Fei is LACAN and the DARK ONE and GRAHF'S SECOND ADVENT and uhhh he just destroyed Solaris, seriously.

Grahf's second what now?

The NPC explains that the Day of the Collapse was brought upon by Grahf! Grahf manipulated the Diabolos into destroying the world! And the power within Id is far too similar to Grahf's!

That is NOT what you said the last time we talked to you, NPC!

Ha ha, well, dropped plot threads and all. The game mentions them a couple of times but I don't think ever explains what the Diabolos were? I'm pretty sure it doesn't. Which is a shame, because they sound pretty interesting, destroying the world (??) and all. Well, regardless, Id is bad news and Shevat doesn't see what the big deal about Fei is anyway, so they are arguing for bricking the guy in a wall.

Well, he did destroy Elru.

And killed my guys in Kislev!

And he destroyed my ship!

YOU GUYS

Elly. My SHIP.

So that is... let me see... fourteen to one. Yes, let us brick Fei in a wall.

Democracy! Fei is scheduled for carbon freezing the next day. Elly is kind of ticked off about being voted down by the entire party, but when she goes to visit Fei in prison, he seems oddly not upset about the whole thing. ...well, he is crazy!

Doc explained everything to me! I'm Id!

Aw, don't let it upset you! You're the same Fei as always!

At the moment!

They're saying Id is the second advent of Grahf! And Grahf used to be a guy named Lacan! ...I guess that's bad, too, I don't know.

This narration actually just had to do a command-F on this google doc to see if the game has even mentioned Lacan yet, but yes, of course it has! Briefly! Fei has experienced two flashbacks so far to being a guy named Lacan in old timey Nisan. Yes, this is confusing but ultimately not looking good for Fei.

Let's escape!

...that's a bad idea.

If the war brings out Id, then we'll go to a place where this is no war!

If the war brings out Id, you'll probably be dead by then.

Eh, that's cool.

Ah, Elly, still not putting on pants.

I'm really not okay with that.

Look, if Id had really wanted to kill me, he would have, right? But he didn't because your will was still in effect! Even if you become Id and decide to kill everyone, I'll stay by your side.

...in which case, you'd still be dead.

Shut up, I'm letting you out.

She does! Wow, did Shevat not bother putting Fei in the high security section? Any bleeding-heart lady can just waltz in and let people out? Yeah, we'll just stick the guy who destroyed the other floating city in a cage without a lock on it, that's fine.

They actually manage to get as far as the giant robot dock before they're caught. Fei was apparently in their no-security section.

You are late!

YOU ARE DEAD.

--for your going away party!

It's... well, all of the party's other teenagers, is probably the intention, but it sort of comes across as the Fatimas and a plus-one. Billy, are you and Fei even friends? You had all your lines when he was in a coma.

WE ARE SO SORRY, YOU GUYS, WE ARE SUCH JERKS.

Ah, no, it's cool.

Though, Elly, you cannot use your giant robot. It is still under repairs from when Fei punched it in the junk!

How come my giant robot's junk is under repairs and his giant robot's junk is fine?

Giant robot anatomy is complicated, Elly. But there is an Omnigear here in Shevat that you can align with! You should go jack it.

...No, I just busted a guy from prison, I don't really need to engage in grand theft giant robot tonight.

Why would we need an Omnigear, anyway? We don't even need seatbelts! Elly can just sit in my lap.

Was that the sound of someone breaking a mug? Hm. Well, the plan seems to be that the others will catch up with them later, since everyone is using first person plural re: this escape and Citan says something about locating them on radar. There is really no reason for the party to break up here, though, so it's safe to assume that Citan is just being an asshole out of habit.

Meanwhile, on the flower vase ship -- which seems to have escaped the destruction of Solaris unscathed with every single villain on board -- the Gazel are pissed and cryptic.

Cain has made a ridiculous deal with Hyuga to let the Contact go free!

He certainly has his deficienceies compared to our digital existence, which permits us to use a higher level of logical thinking.

HUMANS ARE STUPID. USE THE KEY.

If the game has mentioned THE KEY before, then this narration skipped it, because this narration skips at least 80% of what the Gazel say. This is part thirty-nine of a summary that averages 1500 words per part and we are STILL ON DISC ONE.

Ah, freaking out, are we?

Is all the stuff explaining Krelian really on disc two? Christ, no wonder it's such a plot clusterfuck. The Gazel want to know how Cain is doing, and Krelian says he's on life extension treatments and should hold out a little longer. This does not reassure the Gazel. They want to use the key now! They also want to kill Fei! If he's the Contact, there's a possibility that he won't "transmigrate," but as he is an "an organism composed of multiple generations" it is a matter of probability. It is beginning to sound like DID is the least of Fei's problems.

Look, forget the Contact, I've sent Ramsus to deal with him.

How is Ramsus supposed to eliminate the Contact?

Easy! I gave him an Anima Relic!

And now we finally get into the Anima Relics. This is a very important equation for the game going forward: giant robot + Anima Relic = Omnigear. If that sounds too easy, then you haven't seen the bullshit you have to go through to find and use an Anima Relic yet. There are two dungeons and a background check.

Krelian has apparently sweet-talked Ramsus into this, as he is understandably pretty sick of fighting Fei at this point. But Krelian actually doesn't care about Fei -- all he wants is for Ramsus to bring Elly back to Krelian. Ramsus thinks this is stupid and sort of creepy, but hey, Omnigear!

So Ramsus has been dispatched in an Onmigear to find Fei and Elly, whom he apparently knows will be in a single giant robot and by themselves. Citan really isn't spying for the bad guys anymore, but sometimes you have to wonder.

...the hell is that?

OMNIGEAR! The readings indicate a 100% synchronization rate! Do you think it's the "Perfect Gear?"

Sounds like an Eva to me.

...God, that's even worse!

I've found you, Fei! Turn the lieutenant over to me!

...no.

Guess it's time to fight in MID-AIR, then!

God, fuck these selectively flying giant robots! Well, at least Ramsus's has wings. Ramsus smacks Fei around a bit and it quickly becomes clear that yeah, a regular giant robot against an Omnigear isn't really much of a fight.

Ramsus! Stop! I surrender!

I'm finally going to kill Fei! I'll be the main character now! Yes!

Ramsus does not stop! Ramsus, are you coked up? Lord, Ramsus should never be coked up. He probably forgot his valium. Same difference. He totally kicks Fei's giant robot's ass, and Fei and Elly tumble out of the sky screaming.

Yay, I won!

...wait, I was supposed to take the lieutenant back.

Eh, fuck it.

Weltall crashes very badly in a forest somewhere. And as this narration possibly over-established, Elly was not wearing a seatbelt.

Oh, God, the bleeding won't stop!

Elly, I'll save you! Please don't die!

Somebody, help!!

...Somebody else, help!

And that is Xenogears, disc one! It shall leave you with a word of advice: if someone offers you an Onmigear, you say yes.